Long John Silver for President

The country and the world are in crisis. Markets are melting snow cones in the desert south of the Sahara. Unfortunately, none of the presidential candidates has a plan to manage the economy of this crisis. I believe that there is only one person who can make the change is necessary United States and the world beyond their collective keesters.

It's time for leadership.

It is a time of change.

We need someone with a vision, a person who has been tested several times and – although it may be hard to believe – someone with less scruples, although the current nominees.

Long John Silver for president!

I guess the biggest drawback may vote for LJS is a fictional character. We live in a time to overcome prejudices goals. race, religion, sex and shooting moose from helicopters are no longer barriers to elected office. Is not it time that we as a people other biases aside, the requirement that our president is a real person?

Many people have voted for Mickey Mouse as president, believing it was the best choice of candidates elections, and although the defense may have been Mickey rights (in the light of our recent presidents) an informed choice, we must face the fact that Mickey is a loser. The mouse has only a fraction of the presidential election. This country needs a president who's voice squeaks Today, much less a clearly skeletons in his closet. (Anyone seen Minnie lately? Is Betty Ford clinic? What should we do with Pluto, Mickey go at all hours? What tendency to choose advisers and Goofy Mickey? Has Mickey ever "reached across the aisle" and embraced the Warner Brothers characters like Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck?)

I know that many voters may not be able to vote for a fictional character, but people "Let's face it, we do it every time receiving a handle or a hole in the box. McCain and Barack Obama are figments of the imagination of researchers.

Take a look at Barack (or "Barry" as he was known for a large part of his life): no link, no foreign policy experience, no domestic policy experience, no voting rights, while in the Senate, no chance that you can pass any of his policy proposals, because this country has no money. Look at him walk through the scene, so fresh, so detached and so unreal. Everything is image, pressed trousers soft coverage by the press. She is the Mother Teresa of politics, here to embrace all, feed all and provide tax relief to all except those who are not true believers (the rich, according to Democratic gospel have absolutely no reason to be rich in these difficult times and the companies that have nothing to enterprises where the government can do what they can do business – but better).
Does anyone believe Barack Obama is real? Is it an event – an infallible test. Type "Barack Obama" in a Word document and appears as a misspelling. Now Long John Silver's on a Word document: no error. Microsoft, as we all know, is infallible. I think that Long John Silver, and not what we call Barack Obama is the most authentic flavor.

Now, take a look at John McCain. He is a hero, Captain America riding the Straight Talk Express across the plains and prairies and into our rooms area, releasing the truth and justice and all that is going to be elected president. Do you want the government to buy your mortgage and void some hundreds of years of contract law? Would you five hundred dollars in his pocket now, only some of which will be financed by taxing health plan? How about a government regulation with fries?

McCain is a maverick, even when self-proclaimed, but praised the Republican line for so long talking to Teddy Roosevelt on a regular basis. It was a Republican, but Captain America was torn stockings to wear the campaign. The problem with John McCain, my friends, it has been erased and redrawn many times is not even a complete character. He goes in and out of focus, as an image of an old slide projector at the Planetarium in Chicago.

Does anyone believe that John McCain is real? Here is another infallible test. Has not been seen in the same room with George Bush. George Bush did not attend Republican National Convention. Oh, we talk with Bush during the stay away because of a hurricane, but when was the last time that Republicans showed any compassion? Maybe someone needed to drink at a cocktail party in Georgetown or someone wanted another burger on a barbecue or an ally called a tank or two, but do you recall Republicans ever showing real compassion? Therefore, we ask why George Bush and John McCain are never together. Is it because John McCain is George Bush? And if John McCain is George Bush, who is George Bush? Why Cheney of course! Cheney, who is real, has been running the government of an underground bunker in the mountains of Pakistan, where nobody can find it. From what I played Parcheesi with Osama bin Laden at Tora Bora, but the fact is that John McCain is inauthentic.

Long John Silver for president. The more you say, it sounds more well. Long John Silver for president. Long John Silver for president. . .

The blaggard is qualified.

LJS would solve our money problems. Steals all we need. It would probably take a cut in its coffers, but that's what all politicians do, and if we can not fault him for pocketing some doubloons.

Moreover, Long John would take decisive action. He did not consult Congress. You can fly members of the Senate and House of Representatives, but not consult. LJS not waste time to get to this country on their toes well cared for and her shoes Vesse wolf. It would, I assure you, send an elected representative who were disagree with him several leagues under the sea

Want a house? Fine. LJS would make sure that you have paid for it. Could their extravagant price? Yes, but you have a home and away from us all the time you were under the protection of Long John. There would need to read the fine print. You sign your name blood and that's all there!

You pay no tax under LJS. Let me repeat that promise. You do not pay taxes. You may have to, through of full disclosure, pay a fee from time to time, whether the action of the White House, the rum is low, but this possibility is unlikely that Social Security will pay something in the coming years.

Are you worried about the dollar? Interest rates? Inflation? Deflation? Do not worry. The currency is the whiskey above and rum, beer in hand, real assets that can smell and taste, if desired, to drink.

We have a surplus budget, and almost immediately as soon as some countries to pay the ransom that we deserve to save them from various calamities (which will be launched as LJS all nations understand the value of our services).

There will be no trade imbalance. We sell our products to others and again later.

Long John not only cure our economic ills. It is a master of foreign policy. Neither Obama nor McCain can not control their running mates, not to mention Kim Jong Il or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Is there any doubt in your mind that Long John Silver reduce our adversaries into ribbons if they were in the way of our – and your – interest?

We will work much better with our allies, if he became president LJS. McCain accused Obama of naiveté by agreeing to meet our enemies without preconditions. Obama has accused McCain of flawed logic in voting for the war in Iraq. Long John suffers naïve or misunderstanding. He will meet with anyone without preconditions, and if LJS does not like what someone said was cut in your language. Problem resolved. They can suffer from a lack of common sense, because no one will dare to question his decision.

LJS is a leader; solids. No hand wringing or commiseration. He twisted his neck and evisceration.

Contrasts with the Washington bureaucracy.

LJS will to solve our energy crisis. Barter is inconsequential, as the State of Delaware, with oil in the Middle East and Venezuela. Can you imagine all the good in Delaware corporate law will do for third world countries?

We have the right and order. Nobody is going to afraid to walk the streets at night because nobody will be allowed to walk the streets at night. Why do not our elected officials thought of this?

Have you noticed that no one can sing the national anthem to listen? One of the first acts of Long John Silver's willingness to change our National Anthem slums sea effect, one that everyone can sing, but sing as a matter of fact. And listening.

Did I mention sticky? Long John, like our ancestors, bears his boots in style.

The only issue with LJS as president is succession. We live in a democracy after all. Putin comes to mind as the natural successor to LJS, LJS and Putin seem much in common, however, Putin is not a citizen of the United States and therefore can not be our president – unless Long John disregards the constitution – as Putin did in Russia.

Silly me. It is not necessary that a succession plan. LJS continue as long as there is cynicism in politics. Yes, Long John Silver for president. Forever.

© 2008 Edward Chupack

About the Author

Edward Chupack is an attorney for a major law firm. He lives near Chicago. His first novel, Silver, is available now from Thomas Dunne Books. To learn more about Long John Silver, please visit www.silverpirate.com.

President Barack Obama Grant Park Election Night 2008